search for something...

search for something you might like...

Chris Connolly: Holiday Wish List Chris Connolly's collection of short stories, 'Every Day I Atrophy' is currently available for Kindle and soon every other electric platform you can think of. Having washed his hands of that, he had a minute to compile a christmas list of sorts...

Chris Connolly: Holiday Wish List

Chris Connolly's collection of short stories, 'Every Day I Atrophy' is currently available for Kindle and soon every other electric platform you can think of. Having washed his hands of that, he had a minute to compile a christmas list of sorts...

by Lee Paul,
first published: December, 2012
I want people to stop using umbrellas, or failing that, to stop poking me in the eyes with them.
Chris Connolly has long since been one of the great contributors to outsideleft.com. Every Day I Atrophy, Chris' collection of short stories is available now for Kindle and in 2013 on everything else. Meanwhile, here's his most reluctantly compiled holiday wish list... Over to Chris

Chris Connolly: A quick warning: I'm going to be animalistic and selfish in compiling this list. I do have other more general, universal - and more important - things i wish for (like world peace, more intelligent and reasoned public discourse, more togetherness [or something] etc etc etc...) but i'm feeling particularly self-centred today, so...

1. I want to find that perfect level of drunkennes, realise it's perfect, and stop there for once.
2. I don't need a new laptop, but i want one just for a change (commitment issues.)
3. I want people to stop using umbrellas, or failing that, to stop poking me in the eyes with them.
4. If people continue to wield umbrellas without any consideration for taller gentlemen, I want it to become socially acceptable to spit on and punch these people, regardless of age or gender.
5. I want to get laid without having to put any effort into it whatsoever.
6. I want to start wearing a hat (without it being pretentious or some sort of fashion statement.)
7. I want to never have to quit smoking. 
8. I could do with some cash.
9. I'm running out of ideas.
10.I really don't want anything.
11. I hate Christmas lists.
12. I've kind of forgotten what i'm doing now... I hope you didn't bother reading all of this. Sincere apologies...


If you've got any Christmas money left, get Every Day I Atrophy here

RECENT STORIES

RANDOM READS

All About and Contributors

HELP OUTSIDELEFT

Outsideleft exists on a precarious no budget budget. We are interested in hearing from deep and deeper pocket types willing to underwrite our cultural vulture activity. We're not so interested in plastering your product all over our stories, but something more subtle and dignified for all parties concerned. Contact us and let's talk. [HELP OUTSIDELEFT]

WRITE FOR OUTSIDELEFT

If Outsideleft had arms they would always be wide open and welcoming to new writers and new ideas. If you've got something to say, something a small dank corner of the world needs to know about, a poem to publish, a book review, a short story, if you love music or the arts or anything else, write something about it and send it along. Of course we don't have anything as conformist as a budget here. But we'd love to see what you can do. Write for Outsideleft, do. [SUBMISSIONS FORM HERE]

OUTSIDELEFT UNIVERSE

Quiet Night Out
OUTSIDELEFT Night Out
weekend

outsideleft content is not for everyone