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That's Not Entertainment The Toon Traveller is marooned and it's getting to them

That's Not Entertainment

The Toon Traveller is marooned and it's getting to them

by Toon Traveller, Travel Correspondent
first published: September, 2020

approximate reading time: minutes

There’s the talk, promises of cultural support. Which venues? Which arts? The Usual Suspects...

Thats Entertainment

Pissing down with rain in boring old Wednesday
Watching the news and not eating your tea,
An amateur band rehearses in a nearby yard
Watching the telly and thinking ‘bout your holidays,
Feeding ducks in the park and wishing you were far away,
Getting a cab, and travelling on buses, 
Lights going out, and a kick in the balls


That’s entertainment, Paul forgot failed, to foresee, Bakeoff, Strictly, Binge watching, and Netflicks.

Pissing down with rain in boring old Wednesday
On a
pissing down with rain on a boring old Wednesdays. Dreaming about your Holiday, yeah love to, ‘cept EasyJet closed the Toonside base. EasyJet can fly me to Belfast, Bristol, and Nice, and that’s it. Other destinations, Pisa, Prague, Krakow, lost a long train ride to Leeds, Manchester, so thinking ‘bout my holidays needs a bit of Out of the Box thinking, and more planning. One thing’s for sure thinking ‘bout your holidays beats bake-off. Watched when working, kept me in touch with workmates,  and stop me being the aloof Directors, Senior Managers I’d seen 30 years ago starting my career journey. Now it’s me, myself, I, and my time, Bake-Off = Turn Off, people love it, good for them, for me thinking about my holidays, gone and done, planned and COVID-AXED, looking for the new year, new covid world, and new destinations, with the same old loyal friend... Hope. 

Watching the news and not eating your tea
One thing’s certain nothings the same anywhere, Europe, North America, Africa, no free and easy, come and go. The delights there who knows. Will I ever see a salsa band doing Clash, Stranglers, Jam, and Police covers in a Buenos Bar? See Anti Pinochet Chile folk? Catch ambient Tango in Bogotá, even Indian thrash metal. As for Jazz Funk anti-Trump in New Orleans an exuberant memory. 
I fear not. Venues there, like here, closed, dimmed, gathering dust not empties. Talk is life support for some, but like a brutal war drama, there’s triage to determine who survives and who has the lights going out, and a kick in the balls for us alive music lovers.  

An amateur band rehearses in a nearby yard
There’s the talk, promises of cultural support. Which venues? Which arts? There are clues, “The Crown Jewels”. Of course the Corwn Jewels. Well can guess what that means. No money
for amateur band’s rehearsing in a nearby yard, or the club they’re using, or upsized, downtown gigs  they dream of playing. Rest assured support for live events, ‘ll be; Royal Opera House, Royal Festival Hall, Barbican Concert Hall, Wigmore Hall, Royal Albert Hall, that’s a huge slice of pie London scoffed as usual. 

Out of London, top of the dial gems... Lets guess Glybourne, Snape Maltings, Chichester  opera. Up North, as I am, we’ll see the Birmingham Symphony Hall, Liverpool Philharmonic, Machester’s Bridgewater, and Tyneside’s Sage snaffle out most of what’s left. For the rest, those clubs we love, Band on the Wall, The Cluny, The Louisiana, Temple of Boom, and Birmingham’s The Crossing all great cities, perfect venues, but it’s small towns where great bands started and still play for those towns and venues, it will really will be lights going out

Watching the telly and thinking ‘bout your holidays
With Covid19 we’re all
watching the News and not eating our tea, sick at news, angry at the patronising announcements, despairing at pleasures stripped. Revived for a fleeting sunshine ray, snuffed out in a Wednesday pre bake-off sombre, sombrero-less speech, full finger pointing, dimmed nights, broken hopes, and despairing lives. That was night time, another life ago. Today, a rearranged gig from April 20, rearranged October 20, moved to April 2021, with the thought, will the band still be working, will Toon’s Boliershop survive. Can’t see it, sad to say, all too little left for the grass roots. I should be grateful and share in the venue’s dream, hopes and irrepressible optimism. But it’s hard, hard, hard.

Two things give me some hope, a mate involved in a small town, multi use clapped out Mill venue, got a building grant, not that proves anything, they still need income, and that’s a whole different song and dance.

A remembered desert Island discs and BoJo Choosing “The Clash – Pressure Drop”, don’t  mean he’s of us, that he loves rebel music, but the cabinet's average age is 47, they can’t ALL be classical bods work-a-day MPs. Many grew up with Madchester summer of love, teenaged in Brit Pop, some MUST HAVE raved in Warehouses, danced in pubs, mosh pitted at the Academy and rolled in the Glasto mud, and probably forgot who they saw. Although like everyone I'd like to see the evidence.

Getting a cab, and travelling on buses
Getting in Cabs, and travelling on buses
to the traditional protests, will be as effective as Van Morrison’s musing on lockdown, close-out, shut up venues, but perhaps some research on local MPs ESPECIALLY those recently elected may bare some fruit, they must have profiles, likes and dislikes, favourite bands, first records bought. Local press and local web pages, especially those local to their seat. They’ll have clubbed, gigged, grooved, lived, and loved in those. Let’s remind MP’s of their youth, nostalgia is big, big, big in the Lockeddown, closed in, cut off UK. Recent research shows a frequently played Spotify song is, Mister Blue Sky, let’s get the local MPs to support local venues.  FIRST STEP, making sure that big Art’s slice is eaten outside London, our clubs are the main course, and not a one dish tapas. These are our Crown Jewels, our treasures, our music. Keep it alive, not memories ossified in photo books, preserving a glorious past.

Feeding ducks in the park and wishing you were far away

Toon Traveller
Travel Correspondent

Born - happy family, school great mates still see 7 / 8 in year, degreed, beer n fun, work was lazy but usually happy, retired. Learning from mum and dads travel exploits.
about Toon Traveller »»



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