The Hospice, Christmas 2010
There were grey double doors
at the end of the corridor,
where the light seemed
permanently dimmed.
I'd hear them swing occasionally
as another body was taken in.
As you lay there,
your once bold tattoos,
wrinkle smudged
like children's drawings.
All blunt crayons
and dried out felt tip pens.
You gazed up with weary,
puddle-damp eyes,
that once burnt
and shone like mine.
Now so dull
and anaesthetized.
That nurse’s smile
could have won awards,
her jocular asides,
played out to the patrons
of this theatre.
The business of days or weeks
discussed backstage
And both of us,
with reputations,
for talking far too much,
forgot all our lines
When time came
To be judged.
The shape of words
just snagged in my mouth.
And this was how
we spent our first
Christmas together
for over 30 Years
And now I replace one loss,
with another loss,
one vacuum,
with another vacuum
Another void beckoned you
from beyond the swinging doors.
Neither of us
had the strength
to consider how
we would say goodbye.
But when it came,
That overdue,
and final
'I love you'
So elegantly timed.
© 2020 Jason Lewis
