search for something...

search for something you might like...

Ancient Champion: A Hit with Triangular Tiles Books and Polygons, That's All

Ancient Champion: A Hit with Triangular Tiles

Books and Polygons, That's All

by Ancient Champion, Columnist
first published: October, 2021
Shall I order the new kitchen tiles then?

“You’re not going to believe this...” I was mentioning, I mean, with an absolutely pyrotechnical display of elation, “Even though the print edition is not out until Halloween, my collection of short stories, Six Stories About Motoring Nowhere has reached  #413 on the Amazon, Literary Fiction, Short Stories-Of-A-Difficult-Type-to-Enjoy charts.” Why oh why did I leave the word experimental out of the description.

inside cover

I think if only I could invent a more obscure niche category, I could have gotten to number one. Not that I care about that oh no. I am the maker of art no one can easily enjoy after all. It’s incompatible, that reasonable people could discern or even just find the joy within these pages.

“Number 413 already,” I said,  “It’s a hit! I am going to open my own shop on my website.”

“That’s a waste of time. You always advise people to take their products to where the people are. Amazon, Ebay, Etsy, wherever. You’re not expecting any of those people to come to you? And you were opposed to using up more of the world's resources than you already had. And I agree with you, you're old, I think you’ve had your fair share.”

“Number 413 though...”

“413... Oooh. Shall I order the new kitchen tiles then?”

Ah, the kitchen tiles. Have you tried to buy kitchen tiles? Locally. It ain’t an easy thing. There are so many visually non-captivating tiles in the world. I know, I have seen I think all of them in the past few months. We live in a world where every single surface is designed and we live under a government who do not value art and design in education when my experience of crap kitchen tiles would suggest we don’t need less art and design education, we as a nation need way more of it.

Not every home has kitchen tiles. Does yours? Let me know, let’s discuss. Not every home needs them. Currently our kitchen walls are emblazoned with circa 2012 subway tiles. So contemporary. Then. It was the height of the domesticated industrial chic era. So problematic now. The subway tiles contrast nicely with the cantilevered pendant lamp over the table. You know the type.

“Who did these?” A contractor once asked me while running his hand over the tiles. That didn’t appear to come from a place of complete admiration. “I did.” Ended that conversation.

I was so done with looking at the most uninspired tiles imaginable and looking again. Then Ms. Champ finally found these triangular tiles at Claybrook studios. Sensational. I love them. But can I for the life of me get anyone with the skills required to attach them to the walls, to actually attach them to the walls? It’s tricky, it’s geometric. It’s to be figured out while I at last finally get the Thinline out of the wardrobe and get to work (alongside that marvel, Woodenhand) on recording our Notes to Accompany Six Stories About Motoring Nowhere. If you listen, you'll love what you read.


Essential Info
Ancient Champion's short stories, Six Stories About Motoring Nowhere available in paperback and ebook here and elsewhere now.
Notes to Accompany Six Stories About Motoring Nowhere January 2022.
Claybrook Studios is here


← last time 

Ancient Champion
Columnist

Ancient Champion writes for OUTSIDELEFT, relentlessly records instrumental easy listening tracks, and is always completing the short story collection, Six Stories About Motoring Nowhere. More info at AncientChampion.com


about Ancient Champion »»

john robinson week in outsideleft logo
Shall I order the new kitchen tiles then?

OUTSIDELEFT Week in Music

view on youtube

RECENT STORIES

RANDOM READS

All About and Contributors

HELP OUTSIDELEFT

Outsideleft exists on a precarious no budget budget. We are interested in hearing from deep and deeper pocket types willing to underwrite our cultural vulture activity. We're not so interested in plastering your product all over our stories, but something more subtle and dignified for all parties concerned. Contact us and let's talk. [HELP OUTSIDELEFT]

WRITE FOR OUTSIDELEFT

If Outsideleft had arms they would always be wide open and welcoming to new writers and new ideas. If you've got something to say, something a small dank corner of the world needs to know about, a poem to publish, a book review, a short story, if you love music or the arts or anything else, write something about it and send it along. Of course we don't have anything as conformist as a budget here. But we'd love to see what you can do. Write for Outsideleft, do. [SUBMISSIONS FORM HERE]

outsideleft content is not for everyone