Alone

The latest poem from Wayne Dean-Richards' It's a Mad World, But Funny collection

by Wayne Dean-Richards,
first published: March, 2023

I weigh myself, what does it mean?

Wayne Dean-Richards has shared 18 poems for us to publish during the tail end of the winter and on into spring. The collection is called It's a Mad World, But Funny. Eventually there will be a free, downloadable PDF of all the poems and a planned A6 compendium too. (Links to all of the poems way down the page.)

alone

I weigh myself, what does it mean?
today, I’m heavier than I was yesterday,
but not as heavy as I was last week, a month ago,
last year, what does it mean?
I kneel and adjust the scales.
now when I step back on,
according to these scales and these scales alone,
I weigh the same as I did yesterday, what does it mean?
I get off the scales and adjust them
so that they’re correct again, why?
I run a bath and sit in hot water.
for an hour, I sweat. after which I
dry myself then weigh
myself again. now I weigh the same
as I did yesterday. it’s more satisfying
to adjust myself than it is to adjust the scales, why is that?
later I’ll weigh myself – stripped naked - in the dark.
when I do if I’m unable to see the numbers on the scales
will it mean I don’t weigh anything?

will it?

alone, I wait for an answer.

Essential Info
The 18 poems comprising Wayne Dean-Richards' IT'S A MAD WORLD BUT FUNNY series are listed below. Outsideleft will be publishing them all throughout the spring of 2023. A free downloadable PDF and a limited edition A6 chapbook (for neither profit or loss) of these poems will be available at the end. But not till then.

a father's advice to a son being interviewed to work on the Coventry Ring Road - 1958 ⇒

a shopping list and Lowry⇒

alone⇒

big dog training⇒

buying boxer shorts in Next

lanyard life

melancholy

snowman

this house

10.

fight in an art gallery

11.

you cunts

12.

road rage

13.

different face

14.

Dostoevsky didn’t have to put up with this

15.

the cleaner

16.

bailout

17.

glue

18.

are you

Wayne Dean Richards A Bunch of Five at Outsideleft
Wayne Dean Richards Microfiction begins here: To Me

Wayne Dean-Richards

Wayne Dean-Richards works with short stories and the novel. His work has been published in magazines and anthologies in the UK and the US. Some of that work can be found in his collection Cuts, available here

about Wayne Dean-Richards »»

I weigh myself, what does it mean?

The Totally Random Read →

AVAILABLE NOW: RM Francis - The Chain Coral Chorus (Playdead Press)

In 2020 R.M. Francis became Poet in Residence for the Black Country Geological Society.

This book is a record of his deep time explorations of the region and his unearthing of an everyday sublime and terrestrial animism.

Available Now »»

the weekly guide to new releases

see it here every week →

10 clickable things

☉ What can elephants, birds, and flamenco players teach a neuroscientist-composer about music? ☉ BOYCOTT University Challenge ☉ Bruce's Beach. Reparations really, or what? (NYT) ☉ Drag Shows are banned ☉ QPR: Promotion push to relegation fight, 474,000 a week losses and a rescue mission ☉ How to talk like a Chelsea coach ☉ De La Soul Streaming at Last (Gothamist) ☉ Why 1997 Changed Everything (NYT) ☉ Robert Forster: why Venus by Television is the most perfect song of all time (Guardian) ☉ Magentaverse ☉

RECENT STORIES

In a league of their own - the beginnings of British Electric Foundation

Music for Stowaways: How BEF became your BFF

A Matter of Life and Death

'Momento Mori' is Depeche Mode's best record in a very long time.

Big Dog Training

A new poem by Wayne Dean-Richards

Storied Walnuts

The Story of Chantal Pitts' Outsideleft Short Story Competition Trophies

A Soundtrack for Stanford

Jay Lewis marvels at Senestra's compelling debut

Track by Track: IF... by David Heatley

Queens, NY singer-songwriter David Heatley talks us through his new LP, IF... track by track

Is It All About Feeding Bono's Ego At This Point

When does U2 realize that the best thing for it is a calm, dignified hiatus?

Glenn Hardy Jr.: A Portrait of an American

Outsideleft Arts & Design Editor Chantal talks to a rising star of American painting, Glenn Hardy Jr.

Goin' Back To My Industrial Roots

Meave Haughey reads the new short story collection from Lisa Pike

Outsideleft Week in Music... Counting on Lloyd/Bean

We're hearing from... Lloyd/Bean, Swans, Modern Cosmology, Nuha Ruby Ra, The Damned, Eater, Tape Runs Out, Elita, Bloody Bananas, Resurrectionists, Librarians with Hickeys, Jimin, The Ironsides, Darkplace, Richard Norris, Hannah Jagadu, Secret Machines, Forty Feet Tall and Baby Jake

Adventures in the archives

MUSIC
CULTURE
LIT
SCREENS
PRODUCT
SSH

RANDOM READS

This is how Maurice Deebank Felt

Maurice Deebank, founding member of Felt, legendary guitarist and unparalleled aural architect, looks back at Felt's early career, and welcomes the fidelity of Cherry Red's remastered vinyl reissues...
March 2018

Veni Sur! Senti La Illinoise!

June 2005

If You're Going to San Francisco

Peter Whitehead and Anthony Stern's Intense Collaboration
June 2020

everything depends upon how near you stand to me...

Regular O/L contributor Kirk Lake has his first novel in 15 years published later this year. An "art noir" set in 1990s London. Here is an exclusive extract.
November 2012

War Like!

global chaos through a Danish prism
May 2008

Yo Saturnalia and Happy ''Christmas'' from The Singing Saws

Nothing can cut through your holiday blues quicker than a singing saw.
December 2008

All About and Contributors

HELP OUTSIDELEFT

Outsideleft exists on a precarious no budget budget. We are interested in hearing from deep and deeper pocket types willing to underwrite our cultural vulture activity. We're not so interested in plastering your product all over our stories, but something more subtle and dignified for all parties concerned. Contact us and let's talk. [HELP OUTSIDELEFT]

WRITE FOR OUTSIDELEFT

If Outsideleft had arms they would always be wide open and welcoming to new writers and new ideas. If you've got something to say, something a small dank corner of the world needs to know about, a poem to publish, a book review, a short story, if you love music or the arts or anything else, write something about it and send it along. Of course we don't have anything as conformist as a budget here. But we'd love to see what you can do. Write for Outsideleft, do. [SUBMISSIONS FORM HERE]

WRITERS thru' the Years

Alan Devey, Alan Rider, Alex V. Cook, Ancient Champion, Andy Allison, Annemiek, Belle Plankton, Bruce Bailey, Caiomhin Millar, Chantal, Cheiron Coelho, Chris Connolly, Christian Present, Damon Hayhurst, Dan Breen, David Hackney, Denni Boyd, Dirty Lillie, DJ Fuzzyfelt, Dr. Richard Bennett, Duncan Jones, Erin, Erin Pipes, Erin Scott, Gracey Babs, Graham Baker, Guilaine Arts, H.xx, Hamilton High, Henderson Downing, Holly Martins, J. Charreaux, Jay Lewis, Jaycentee, Jennifer Lynn, Jenny McCann, Jeremy Gluck, Jez Collins, Joe Ambrose, John Robinson, Julie O, Karl Morgan, Katherine Pargeter, Kelsey Osgood, Kevin McHugh, Lake, Lee Paul, Luke Skinner, Malcolm, Marek Pytel, Mark Piggott, Meave Haughey, Michelle Williams, mindy strouse, Neil Campbell, Neil Scott, Ogglypoogly, OL House Writer, Pam, Paul Hawkins, Paul Quigley, Peter Williams, Pixie McMowat, Pixievic, Rene Williams, Rick Casson, Ronan Crinion, Ruby Lake, Ryan 'RJO' Stewart, Samantha Charles, Seth Sherwood, Shane O'Reilly, Sheridan Coyle, Sofia Ribeiro Willcox, Sophia Satchell-Baeza, Spanish Pantalones, Speedie John, Spencer Kansa, Steve McCarthy, The Conversation, Tim London, Tim Sparks, Toon Traveller, Wayne Dean-Richards, and founders, Alarcon & Lamontpaul