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Lovers, Muggers and Thieves... Oh, Very Cool People Tim London marvels in so many ways at Tony Valentino of the Standells' new solo LP

Lovers, Muggers and Thieves... Oh, Very Cool People

Tim London marvels in so many ways at Tony Valentino of the Standells' new solo LP

by Tim London,
first published: May, 2023
a long life of rocknroll excess set against the increasing life expectancy delivered via the 2nd world war's long lasting commercial boost + antibiotics for a select group of world citizens (AKA Americans) means this is an inevitable situation

approximate reading time: minutes

Tony artTony Valentino
Dirty Water Revisited
(Big Stir)
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‘lovers muggers and thieves - oh, very cool people’

If Wikipedia can be believed Tony Valentino is 82 years old. A man with two immaculate names (born Emilio Bellissimo) he is also blessed with some amazing vocal chords - no, hold on, that’s not him, it’s the drummer, Duane Waider, who is a sprightly 63 years old who also plays drums on this strange collection that, somehow has something all its own, neither pastiche, nor, obviously the sounds of the snotty drag racing pointy booted speed freaks (just guessing) they once were. LA punks, hah!

Tony Valentino plays guitar (very well, still) and harmonica and sings the final track on the album, Love Me, that manages to be both a Pogues-like romp and and grandpa Simpson confusing his nurse for his teenage sweetheart.

Alright, low shot. Ageist as fuck. As an old git myself I think it’s got to be acknowledged - still making noise like this when, by all sane reckoning you are properly old is not just remarkable, it’s also funny.

It’s actually a total freaky situation, coming up against the snowdrift (again) of pop culture’s dead end; zombified, not going anywhere, and old people making as much of a racket as their great grand kids. What does this mean? There surely must be a sociologist around to explain. No, they’re too busy swilling French Blues around in a diuretic solution and hoping it won’t affect the Viagra. So let’s take a guess - a long life of rocknroll excess set against the increasing life expectancy delivered via the second world war’s long lasting commercial boost plus antibiotics for a select group of world citizens (AKA Americans) means this is an inevitable situation.

I’m looking forward to the various genres getting to the same point, particularly the gangstas (those that survive - it could be argued they’re not real gangstas if they survive that long - couldn’t it? I don’t know, it’s all new territory) and the skate punks. And Cher…

There are a few original tracks on this, as well as the aforementioned Love Me, including the hilarious I’m A Sexy Punk Rocker which features the following:

‘refugees in overcoats

safety pins in leather coats

it’s still 79 in my mind’

Suddenly 1979 seems like a verrrrry long time ago. 

Tim London

Tim London is a musician, music producer and writer. Originally from a New Town in Essex he is at home amidst concrete and grand plans for the working class. Tim's latest thriller, Smith, is available now. Find out more at timothylondon.com


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