I work with teenage musicians every day, and they will always ask me if I like this thing or that…. I almost always say NO! They then accuse me of not liking anything and I say that the 10,000 plus records in my house would argue against that. They don’t understand. But as requested, here is the Simmons hot take on 5 songs I never need to hear again:
“OId Time Rock & Roll’ by Bob Seger.
Hell, anything by Bob Seger. If you’re a musician that sometimes does cover gigs, there are certain songs that are obligatory like ‘Brown Eyed Girl’. I can still sit through that, but if somebody wants or plays ‘Old Time Rock & Roll’ I’m out. ‘Long Train Running’ gets honorable mention as somethign I never want to play again. It’s a bore, so much so that it’s easy to mess it up,and it’s a bastard on the arthritis.
“Santeria” by Sublime.
Hopefully it’s just a So-Cal thing but all the middle-aged stoners in the beach towns where I live love that damn song. It’s not the song’s fault, it’s the limited scope of the people that love it that makes me insane. These are the same folks that wear Bob Marley t-shirts and can’t name a single one of his albums. They just love weed. A simple eye roll will not do. It makes me want to break stuff so I have to leave the room.
“Sweet Child o’ Mine”.
This will be an unpopular hot take, but I hate EVERYTHING about that song. The insipid guitar intro, the bad singing, imagining that jackass swaying back & forth singing it. Ugh. I loved Nirvana for single-handedly putting a stop to that stupid band. No offense, Slash, you seem like a good dude.
’Sweet Caroline’.
I mentioned this recently online and got a bunch of hate for it, but whatever. I actually love the song. My parents told me it was the first song I ever sang along with as a baby. I sang the horn part. As you probably know, any time you hear this song now, anyone within earshot (usually drunk) sings that part. That’s fine. It’s the added ‘So Good! So Good! So Good!’ that makes me mental. I don’t care if it’s your favorite thing to chant when you’re down at the pitch, please don’t expect me to be happy about it.
I will end with one that people might not expect.
Hey Jude.
Nothing against that song- it’s a classic and I love the Beatles obviously- I just don’t need to hear that song ever again. If I’m at a Mccartney show and he plays that or Let it Be, it’s time to go take a leak.
If you want to know about stuff I LIKE… that would be really hard. I have a huge revolving door of favorites but here goes:
Surf’s Up (Beach Boys) best overall
Til I Die (Beach Boys) most beautiful
Cruel To Be Kind (Nick Lowe) best pop song
This Guy’s In Love With You (Herb Alpert) love it
Oh Babe What Would You Say (Norman ‘Hurricane’ Smith) same reasons as the Alpert song, but cheesier.
Strawberry Fields Forever / Penny Lane (Beatles) greatest pop single ever followed by Hello Goodbye/Walrus. That’s my center.
Those and a few thousand others... This has been cathartic fun!
Essential Information
It's sparkle*jets UK Week in Outsideleft
Box of Letters LP review by John Robinson
Track by Track: Box of Letters by Mike Simmons
Interview with Mike and Jamie
Teethgraters: 5 Songs Mike would go to the Ends of the Earth to Never Hear Again
sparkle*jets uk on Facebook
Big Stir Records, sparkle*jets uk page is here
