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Its All About Me Alan Rider reflects on the need to let go of ego driven self aggrandisement, as espoused in Dr Tom Davies new book 'Self Obsession'

Its All About Me

Alan Rider reflects on the need to let go of ego driven self aggrandisement, as espoused in Dr Tom Davies new book 'Self Obsession'

by Alan Rider, Contributing Editor
first published: April, 2025

approximate reading time: minutes

Obsession with ourselves, vanity, greed, a lack of empathy, compassion, or appreciation of nature, and our need to self aggrandise are pretty much at the root of most of humanity's problems

Self Obsession
Dr Tom Davies
(Watkins Publishing)

"This is not a self help book" Dr Tom Davies states in the introduction, attributing all of his personal torments whilst firstly studying and training for, then practising as, a medical doctor, to his programmed sense of the importance of self, his 'self obsession', or 'psychological prison', as the book's title would have it.  Yet this most assuredly is a self help book (it's even there in the title) and fits that mould very well. Beginning with the authors own experience and subsequent epiphany, before analysing the negative implications of the all-too-human obsession with status, achievement, productivity, and elevation of the self above that of others, it all sounds horribly familiar.  You, or people you know, will have some of those traits.  Discovering Buddism, and especially Tai Buddism, Davies devotes the second half of the book to simple lessons based largely on it's teachings.  Letting go of ambition, ego and attachments, living in the now rather than dwelling on the past or fretting about the future, savouring simplicity, and becoming flexible enough to go with the flow, all supported and underpinned by meditation.  

Out of all religions, Buddism is probably the perfect one, lacking the competitive and violent elements of the others. There are no bloodthirsty demons, jealous gods/goddesses, or striking down your enemies and roasting sinners/non believers in various hells to be found in Buddism.  Simple self awareness, lack of material attachment/obsession and inner and external calm sit at the heart of it, which is why its tenets form the basis of most psychotherapy approaches, whether Jungian, Freudian, NLP/Mindfulness, and so on. In 'Self Obsession' Davies offers up a familiar, but undeniable, set of truths.  Obsession with ourselves, vanity, greed, a lack of empathy, compassion, or appreciation of nature, and our need to self aggrandise are pretty much at the root of most of humanity's problems.  

Book cover

The fact that Davies refers to himself as Dr Tom Davies (despite having been through hell to qualify medically), and feels the need to publish a book containing his experiences and offering advice to others, show that he himself has not yet managed to completely let go of ego and self. If he had, he simply wouldn't feel the need.  That doesn't, however, diminish the fact that we all need to calm down a bit, slow down our frenetic and over the top 'productivity' and smell the roses, and be kinder to both each other and ourselves, and if his book helps you do that, then it will have been a very good investment indeed. 


Essential Information: 'Self Obsession' is published by Watkins Publishing on 13th May 2025 and is available to pre-order from the Watkins store here.

Main image: From Wikipedia Commons

Alan Rider
Contributing Editor

Alan Rider is a Norfolk based writer and electronic musician from Coventry, who splits his time between excavating his own musical past and feeding his growing band of hedgehogs, usually ending up combining the two. Alan also performs in Dark Electronic act Senestra and manages the indie label Adventures in Reality.


about Alan Rider »»

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