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Friday Film Forecast for September 1, 2005

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by Alarcon, for outsideleft.com
originally published: September, 2005
If said guy was a real greasy, mouth-breathing, fat, ill mannered nerd, you wouldn't be dating him.

Michael Showalter
Starring: Michael Showalter, Elizabeth Banks, Justin Theroux, Michael Ian Black, David Wain, Michelle Williams
Plot: In this strained romantic comedy, Elliot Sherman (Showalter), the hipster-dofus accountant who defines ''Baxter'' as a guy who occupies the losing corner of any love triangle, gets dumped by his incredibly hot fianc?©e. From there, the Elliot declares in voice-over narration that he's standing up for nice, dumped guys everywhere. He's encouraging them to be themselves because somewhere out there is a gal, a Baxterette, who's as kind and patient and adorable as Michelle Williams is, playing an office temp/singer who loves Elliot as a first choice, not a second.
I Say: I adore Showalter in 2000's Wet Hot American Summer, but he's really letting me down with Stella on Comedy Central and sad to say, The Baxter is another letdown. I guess I just have a problem with hot chicks who fall for nerds because it never really happens unless it's a novelty relationship. For some reason in real life, girls wear it as a badge of honor to date nerds, but I have a news flash, if said guy was a real greasy, mouth-breathing, fat, ill mannered nerd, you wouldn't be dating him. That's a real nerd, Showalter plays a quirky, well-groomed, well-dressed everyman and that's why I can't buy what this movie's selling.
Grade: C+



Marcos Siega
Starring: Nick Cannon, Roselyn Sanchez, Cheech Marin, Shawn Ashmore
Plot: a mouthy bicycle cop called Tre (Drumline's Nick Cannon, a bantamweight Chris Tucker) who goes undercover in a snooty white L.A. prep school to bust a case involving drugs, car theft, murder, and basketball rivalry.
I Say: This teen comedy is like a student film sloppily copied from other student's notes — kids who have seen Rush Hour and still can't get over how funny it is to stick a noisy black guy in a distinctly nonblack setting. And of course, no possible lame joke is left unspoken as long as it involves blacks, Hispanics, whites who can't speak proper hip-hop and a fat cop preoccupied with his own bowel movements. If you want to see classic teen comedy at its best, forgo this horrid piece of shit and rent Sixteen Candles

Grade: d-
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Alarcon co-founded outsideleft with lamontpaul in 2004. His work for o/l has attracted the attention of hundreds of thousands of readers, oh and probably the fbi too.

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