O U T S I D E L E F T   stay i n d e p e n d e n t

300 Words From London: Spuds You'll Like

Remember that episode of Cheers when Cliff had a potato that looked like Richard Nixon?

get the weekly Outsideleft newsletter
by Lake, Editor, London for outsideleft.com
originally published: February, 2006
...Competition will be tough. I have a potato here that looks exactly like Ringo Starr.

Remember that episode of Cheers when Cliff had a potato that looked like Richard Nixon? Or remember when feeble magazine-style TV shows had a section where they showed fruit or vegetables that looked like people? Wow. Simple fun. Back in the days before GM and chemicals made all our produce look uniform and blemish free it was always fun to find an Elephant Man look-a-like spud or a carrot that had two legs and a huge erection (insert canned laughter).

These days, even organic shops and home-grown allotment produce seems to be devoid of any freakish vegetable mutants. Where have they all gone?

As a kind of deformed vegetable festival there is a celebrity potato contest in London this very weekend. Organised by the Starchy Gallery it's an opportunity for all glamorous potatoes to gather and battle it out to be King Spud.

Unfortunately, judging by previous years, more effort is put into potato decoration and costuming than in actually finding anthropomorphic tubers. This seems like cheating to me. You can put a dress and a blond wig on any potato and stake a claim its Marilyn Monroe. I want to see more like the marvellous Mother Teresa potato: the wrinkled likeness is uncanny.

Entries are open for your own potato and, like the BAFTAs, you don't even need to be there in person. Just send a photo by email. But be warned, competition will be tough. I have a potato here that looks exactly like Ringo Starr.

Starch Gallery

see more stories from outsideleft's Culture archive »»

Lake
Editor, London

the first journalism Lake ever had published was a history of Johnny Thunders for Record Collector magazine, since then he has written for publications including the Guardian, Dazed and Confused, the Idler and more recently, outsideleft.com as you have just seen.

more stories you really could read...


thumb through the ancient archives:

search for something you might like...


sign up for the outsideleft weekly. a selection of new and archived stories every week. Or less.

View previous campaigns.

Happy Shopper #28: Kerri Koch
Kerri Koch, director of the new documentary about Morrissey's Hispanic fans, Passions Just Like Mine, reveals some passions just like ours... Great Black Friday shopping advice
I'll Give You An Annual Review #21... Hector Plimmer
Hector Plimmer's beautiful neo-soulful 'Sunshine' LP gets A-list DJ's working up a lather for the remixed version
Satan, Your Kingdom Must Come Down
A perfect night out is full of stories
Crushing Society Under Their Wheels: Vic Chesnutt and Robert Wyatt
Chesnutt and Wyatt share more than wheelchairs, funny voices and cult followings. They also share the title of being possibly the last great songwriters.
Candice Gawne In the Darkness and In the Light
San Pedro's Cornelius Projects presents Chiaroscuro: Paintings by Candice Gawne
Mage Against the Regime
Of Montreal breaks from the crowd, frothing at the mouth with their latest release, Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
Some of our favorite things...